Sarah Sloan

So my mom is super Hispanic, and I'm talking like very Hispanic. This is how she wakes me up in the morning. Her accent is so thick she has trouble pronouncing my name, so she has to call me Sara. She has to call me Sarita. I have some bad news next. My dad is white. Boo, ew. So he likes to call me stupid. He likes to call me ugly. Yeah, no, it's fine. Oh, man.

So before I moved out here to Austin, my parents were talking to me. And they were like, Sarah, never in our lives would we have imagined that our 22-year-old daughter would still be living at home with us, leeching off of us. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm going to stop you right there. I'm 27, OK? My parents have always been extremely pro-life until they had me.

Now my mother is for afterbirth abortions. And I asked her up to what age, and she was like, whatever age you are. Guys, thank you so much.

It's been amazing, especially ever since, yeah, being on here. Like, you change lives.

Only when I look in the mirror.

Thank you, LaMere.

There was this YouTuber that he does microphone interviews, very nerdy, and just think like a male version of me, and I was really into him.

I put in the comments, I was like, hey, you said you were single on your podcast. That's crazy. I've had a baby crush on you for a while.

Baby crush.

Yeah, say it. His name is Bandrew, and he has the channel Podcastage.

Yeah, it's a pretty big, yeah. Nothing was ever going to happen between, look at me. It was never going to happen to me.

Again.

I've never been on a date with anybody ever.

Never. I don't get it.

Then kiss me. Mike, why don't you... I was kidding, I was kidding, I was kidding.

You just ruined my life. My parents are going to kill me.

A little, you know, a little. Well, they were like, let's get lunch together, my parents. And so then I sit down and we order this really good food. And then they were just like, we're really, we're disappointed in you. Tell me more. I'm being dead serious. And they were just like, you know, you laughed at what...

Yeah. You know, I thought, you know, you hated my minute. But, like, my last minute I thought was better than this one. And they said, like, they didn't say anything acknowledging that it was good. All they did was just talk about how I shouldn't have been laughing at the jokes you were making about me.

You're funny. I can't help but laugh.

No, yeah, I really do like doing impressions.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm a front desk girl. So I just, very administrative, hello, all that, yeah. Very basic work. Because I wanted to do an easy job so I could focus on this on the after hours.

Yeah, yeah, it's at a school.

$53,000 a year. I'm fine with it. I know it's nothing, but I'm fine with it.

Oh, okay.

Oh, yeah, supposedly to keep my job, I am speaking as a private citizen.

On behalf of myself. Forgot about that.

Is that real? Wow, I never broke it down.

I'm really, I'm very competent. I really am. I know I don't look it, but I promise.

Never have.