Sarah
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No, it's not that.
I just don't know how to feel anything other than resentment and anger at this point.
And so I think that's probably just an easy way to direct my anger.
I don't think that it is.
I think he just doesn't want to.
Like he doesn't want to see me because he thinks it's gross.
He doesn't want to.
I don't know.
I don't know where to go.
That's what's happening now.
I think I've just felt so much resentment for so long that I...
have had to direct it somewhere.
And I've known about myself for, you know, since I was a teenager that this is who I am.
And it's something about myself that I really like.
I like that I feel this way and that I knew I was going to want to have this as part of my life.
And I spent most of my teenage years and young adult years looking forward to sharing that with my husband.
And when I got married, being like, guess what?
And so the fact that this piece of myself that I really like about myself is the thing that causes all the pain.