Saskia

What do I choose to eat?

What do I choose to watch?

And to then incorporate that into who I am.

For me to get my agency back and be able to do what is good for me is where my power lies now.

I feel like I've started spending most of my time alone.

I was so devastated and shocked by everything that happened that I had no choice but to start to protect myself a little bit.

And that's something that is empowering, right, to know that

I can make my own choices and I can stay as safe as I need to or want to.

It was.

I stopped doing those things for a long time.

It's been really hard for me to get back out there.

I don't think that I can ever trust anybody.

I don't think that I could ever fully be confident that someone wasn't misleading me or manipulating me because I was so sure that he was a good person and that he loved me.

How can I ever get to the point where I truly don't fear that?

It made me feel a little bit vulnerable.

Like, they're seeing how hard this is for me.

Like, what am I doing?

This is so difficult.

I feel like this was the journey that was put in front of me.

And I was going to see it through, regardless of how difficult it was.