Sawyer (Mel's daughter)
speaker
186 appearances
5 recordings
2 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard Apr 2025
Sawyer (Mel's daughter)’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And that's what I was going to say is that I think... there was things that happened over time that raised the force field. And then everything after that just reconfirmed it and made me feel like I was always already listening for that message versus I completely shut out the, you matter, here's your gifts, here's that, the other, like I'm showing up to your game.
I already had decided in my mind that I, This is the story I'm going to tell myself, which is my mom doesn't care about me and I am going to go pout in the corner so she comes closer and closer to me versus trying to approach you in another way. And I think what didn't help that is that outside of the house and outside of our family,
every single second it was getting reconfirmed by strangers and by my friends which is oh you're kendall's sister oh my god kendall's blah blah blah oh my gosh you're mel robbins's daughter i love her so much like can you give me your number so i can get to her like give me your email so i can get to her it was always like how can i use sawyer to get to kendall or mom
And so I think that that, it was in the house I was telling myself this, but also outside, it was kind of like other people were reconfirming that for me. And so it made the force field indestructible.
I think it wouldn't be until I showed up differently that our relationship would get better. Really? Yeah.
I think you were trying to reach out your hand towards the end. And I think I still was in that cross my arms. I'm mad at you. And I like to be mad at you because then you give me more attention phase. Can we just stop right there?
No, seriously, what was great about it? I felt like when I was mad at you, then you actually gave me the time of day. And it wasn't until I was in tears or I needed help or I needed some advice, aka your career, that you actually... genuinely were paying attention to me without your phone in your hand, without thinking about other things.
It was almost like if I was in trouble or I was mad at you or I was in a emergency situation, that is when I would get your full attention and that is the only time I would get your full attention. And so I felt like I was training you unconsciously. Like I had no idea that I was doing this, but that I was training you to come closer to me whenever I was mad at you. Wow.
It was all because I looked up to you and wanted to be you. And... I think that that was like the same thing with Kendall too. It was like, I just wanted to be her and I didn't know how to communicate that.
Hmm.
And so instead of being like, I'm so proud of you, I want to learn from you, I want to go in the same direction, or I don't know what I want to do, but I think what you're doing is so cool. Instead, I was just like, I can never do that. And so therefore, I'm going to punish them.
So I quit my job and I go to Asia for four months and backpack solo to seven different countries. And it was so amazing. I was on such a high. I came back from my trip. I immediately wanted to go back, but I had no money. And it was the middle of winter up in Vermont. I have moved back home, living with my parents at 25.
A year ago, almost to the day.
And so I hope it is. I love you, but I hope it is. Well, I'm still living here for everyone. But I thought it was temporary. And so I thought this is going to be a great refresh. I'm going to move to New York. I'm going to get a job within like three weeks of getting back like this will be totally fine. And then I get back and I just crumble with everything. I am crying every day.
I have no idea how to process my emotions after I just completed like the biggest goal I've ever had in my life. And it's over. And what am I going to do now? And I can't go back in the corporate world, but I will never work for my mother. And mom approaches me. And ever so slyly, she says, hey, Soy, you need money, clearly, and I need a little bit of help.
How about you work on for the entire next week a little research project that I call the Let Them Theory? And I will pay you However much, I think it was like 50 bucks.
I still can't believe it. Why can't you believe it? I am not a writer. I beg to differ, but go ahead. And I just remember you saying, Sawyer, I think we need to write this book together. And after loving the research project, I signed up and said, okay, but not full time. I will be on the side and I will be a contractor. And then I was still resistant.
And at this point, I was not in the mindset, I'm doing this to improve my relationship with my mom. That is not what I was going into this. It was, I need some moolah and she's got it. So I just want to put that out there that this was not an intentional self-discovery. I need to improve my relationship with my mother. This was How my mom marketed it was, this is a launching pad.
And I said, great. For? For New York.
Yes.
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