The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
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What is the main topic of this episode?
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so glad that you pressed play and that you're listening to this conversation right now because you and I are going to talk about something incredibly important. And that is that there is a relationship in your life right now where there's just this unspoken tension with another person. You want to be closer. You want to have more fun. But you're just not sure what to do. Well, that was me and my oldest daughter, Sawyer, for a long time. And today, Sawyer and I are going to sit down with you and we're going to unpack the issues that we had in our relationship with you and talk about this invisible distance that both of us felt.
I mean, even when we were having fun and we really love each other and we have a lot of fun together, but... There was just something in the way, you know? And we both wanted to be closer and not offend each other or upset each other or say things that we didn't mean to say. And it's like neither one of us knew how to bridge the gap or create a closer connection. And we didn't even quite understand what was off. And as you listen to my daughter and I unpack the things that we realized about our relationship, and more importantly, we share two things that happened this year that we discovered that brought us closer than ever. I want you to be thinking about the relationships in your life because there is somebody in your life right now that you wish you were closer to, but there's just this unspoken tension or you show up and you have the best of expectations and you really want to have fun and things are okay for a day, but then it's just the same old argument and baggage and you just wish it could go away.
And the truth is, I've got some really good news because that's exactly how my daughter and I felt for years. And we've now figured it out. We've made our relationship better. And the good news is, in any relationship, all it takes is you. If you change how you show up, everything changes in the relationship. So whether you're now thinking about your mom, or you're thinking about how you've been fighting with your spouse and you wish you wouldn't, or you've got tension with one of your adult kids, or maybe the tension and this invisible distance is with a sibling. You were once close, but now you're not. And you can blame it on their spouse, but it's really in between the two of you. This conversation is one of the biggest gifts I could give you.
Because I'm going to explain that that invisible distance, that's something that you can close. You can improve your relationships. You can create a closer connection. And following the two things that my daughter and I are going to teach you today that work for us, that's one of the biggest gifts you could give to yourself and every relationship in your life.
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. It is always such an honor to spend time and be together with you. I am so excited that you hit play today, that you're here for this conversation. This one is going to be amazing. And the reason why is I'm sitting down with my oldest daughter. Her name is Sawyer. She's 25 years old, and we have just spent the last year writing the Let Them Theory book together. And the process of not only learning about the Let Them Theory and writing this book together, it has healed our relationship. And this is going to be one of those conversations that I know is going to be deeply personal. You're going to see yourself in everything that we're talking about.
And you're going to leave not only with a deeper understanding of the let them theory, which is this mindset tool that I discovered, I don't know, about two years ago, that really helps you understand what's in your control and what's not in your control. And it helps you to focus on what you are in control of, which is what you think, say, or do, and to just let other people be. Let them live their lives, let them have their opinions, and really focus on your response. And a funny thing happens when you start to implement the let them theory in your life. When you start to say let them, and you let people be themselves, you create space for change and transformation. Like, it's kind of crazy. The more you stop trying to control everybody else, the more control you gain.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the main topic of this episode?
0:00–6:01
2
How can you close the invisible distance in relationships?
6:01–15:30
3
What is the Let Them Theory and how does it work?
15:30–22:10
4
What challenges did Mel and Sawyer face in their relationship?
22:10–29:34
5
How can understanding your parents' struggles improve your relationship?
29:34–36:18
6
What role does self-reflection play in repairing relationships?
36:18–43:39
7
How can you use the Let Them Theory to enhance your connections?
43:39–51:14
8
What are the key takeaways from Mel and Sawyer's conversation?
51:14–1:38:45
Speakers
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