Se'era Spragley Ricks

So when Hazel offers Ellen's daughter an internship, Ellen is like, I can't even be too mad because my daughter is so excited. But also, I hate this woman. Do you think this is a good idea? Would you allow your child to be taken under the wing of a girl boss?

So when Hazel offers Ellen's daughter an internship, Ellen is like, I can't even be too mad because my daughter is so excited. But also, I hate this woman. Do you think this is a good idea? Would you allow your child to be taken under the wing of a girl boss?

Okay.

Okay.

That's so true.

That's so true.

Yeah, if it was any other year, Hazel brainwashing her daughter into hustle culture would be at the top of Ellen's list of concerns. But this year, Ellen also has to worry about the fact that her other daughter has just entered eighth grade. And eighth grade is a really important year at Briarwood Academy. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, if it was any other year, Hazel brainwashing her daughter into hustle culture would be at the top of Ellen's list of concerns. But this year, Ellen also has to worry about the fact that her other daughter has just entered eighth grade. And eighth grade is a really important year at Briarwood Academy. Mm-hmm.

Every year, all three classes of eighth graders at Briarwood participate in a semester-long fundraiser. And whichever class wins the fundraiser by raising the most money gets to choose the theme for the annual eighth grade graduation party. The last time Ellen had been through this fundraiser with her oldest daughter had almost killed her. Are you competitive? Do you consider yourself competitive?

Every year, all three classes of eighth graders at Briarwood participate in a semester-long fundraiser. And whichever class wins the fundraiser by raising the most money gets to choose the theme for the annual eighth grade graduation party. The last time Ellen had been through this fundraiser with her oldest daughter had almost killed her. Are you competitive? Do you consider yourself competitive?

I was going to say, Vincent, you should teach me how to play spades, but I'm realizing that learning spades from a competitive player is actually not good at all because I don't think you want me to be your partner.

I was going to say, Vincent, you should teach me how to play spades, but I'm realizing that learning spades from a competitive player is actually not good at all because I don't think you want me to be your partner.

Okay. Okay. Okay. I'll take that. I'll take that. Yeah. One of my friends who you also know is very, very competitive. Like it's not enough for her to win. Yeah. The person she's winning against has to feel bad about losing. Like she hates competing against me because most of the time I'm kind of just happy to be there. I'm like, I'm so happy you won. And she's like, fuck you.

Okay. Okay. Okay. I'll take that. I'll take that. Yeah. One of my friends who you also know is very, very competitive. Like it's not enough for her to win. Yeah. The person she's winning against has to feel bad about losing. Like she hates competing against me because most of the time I'm kind of just happy to be there. I'm like, I'm so happy you won. And she's like, fuck you.

That doesn't count as winning if you're not upset.

That doesn't count as winning if you're not upset.

It is. And I love to see it because usually she can do it. And when she can't do it, it's really funny to see. This is the kind of person that Ellen also is. She's usually pretty good at suppressing it or channeling it into her work as an art buyer. And she had tried really, really hard to suppress it during her first eighth grade fundraiser at Briarwood. And that had not worked out.

It is. And I love to see it because usually she can do it. And when she can't do it, it's really funny to see. This is the kind of person that Ellen also is. She's usually pretty good at suppressing it or channeling it into her work as an art buyer. And she had tried really, really hard to suppress it during her first eighth grade fundraiser at Briarwood. And that had not worked out.

Like, things got ugly. Mm-hmm. Our girl Ellen may or may not have sabotaged another classroom's bake sale by spreading a rumor that the baked goods weren't nut or gluten-free. Holy shit. Had that bake sale been organized by Ellen's frenemy, Hazel, who could say? Uh-huh. Ellen has buried that version of herself. It has been four years since then. A whole presidential administration.

Like, things got ugly. Mm-hmm. Our girl Ellen may or may not have sabotaged another classroom's bake sale by spreading a rumor that the baked goods weren't nut or gluten-free. Holy shit. Had that bake sale been organized by Ellen's frenemy, Hazel, who could say? Uh-huh. Ellen has buried that version of herself. It has been four years since then. A whole presidential administration.