Se'era Spragley Ricks

It costs $299, and it has LED illuminated eyes that follow trick-or-treaters. So for years, Ellen has wanted nothing more than to install a 12-foot-tall skeleton outside her home. And if Ellen lived in the suburbs, this dream could be achieved very simply by... purchasing the skeleton.

It costs $299, and it has LED illuminated eyes that follow trick-or-treaters. So for years, Ellen has wanted nothing more than to install a 12-foot-tall skeleton outside her home. And if Ellen lived in the suburbs, this dream could be achieved very simply by... purchasing the skeleton.

But Ellen lives in the West Village in a co-op that, like most West Village co-ops, has a very involved co-op board. So before Ellen can even purchase a 12-foot-tall skeleton, she has to get approval from her co-op board, which for years she has been unable to do. But this year... Ellen's persistence has finally paid off.

But Ellen lives in the West Village in a co-op that, like most West Village co-ops, has a very involved co-op board. So before Ellen can even purchase a 12-foot-tall skeleton, she has to get approval from her co-op board, which for years she has been unable to do. But this year... Ellen's persistence has finally paid off.

In early October, Ellen was given permission to purchase and install not just one, but two 12 foot tall skeletons right in front of her co-op. Oh my God. What would you do if you were walking down like Christopher Street in the West Village and saw two 12 foot tall skeletons?

In early October, Ellen was given permission to purchase and install not just one, but two 12 foot tall skeletons right in front of her co-op. Oh my God. What would you do if you were walking down like Christopher Street in the West Village and saw two 12 foot tall skeletons?

Ellen is filled with joy every time she sees these skeletons. It is better than she has been dreaming of all these years. Every five-year-old in a mile radius becomes obsessed with this co-op. But even better, Ellen's 12-foot-tall skeletons had caught the attention of the coolest person on Ellen's block. Patricia. Huge news.

Ellen is filled with joy every time she sees these skeletons. It is better than she has been dreaming of all these years. Every five-year-old in a mile radius becomes obsessed with this co-op. But even better, Ellen's 12-foot-tall skeletons had caught the attention of the coolest person on Ellen's block. Patricia. Huge news.

Our Dowager Queen, Kelsey McKinney, wrote a New York Times bestselling book of beautiful essays about gossip. It's called You Didn't Hear This From Me, mostly true notes on gossip. And I am obsessed. It's about how we use gossip to learn about ourselves. It's about Britney Spears and Weston Caleb and Gilgamesh and Picasso. It's so fun.

Our Dowager Queen, Kelsey McKinney, wrote a New York Times bestselling book of beautiful essays about gossip. It's called You Didn't Hear This From Me, mostly true notes on gossip. And I am obsessed. It's about how we use gossip to learn about ourselves. It's about Britney Spears and Weston Caleb and Gilgamesh and Picasso. It's so fun.

Patricia is like old, old money rich. Like, it's giving Gilded Age. It's giving down Abby. What this means is that Patricia doesn't give a single fuck what anyone thinks of her. She has been married and divorced three times. And now that her two sons are off at college, people in the neighborhood have seen her on dates with a series of really hot, mostly younger guys.

Patricia is like old, old money rich. Like, it's giving Gilded Age. It's giving down Abby. What this means is that Patricia doesn't give a single fuck what anyone thinks of her. She has been married and divorced three times. And now that her two sons are off at college, people in the neighborhood have seen her on dates with a series of really hot, mostly younger guys.

She's notoriously terrible at parallel parking, despite being a lifelong New Yorker and will often ask one of her neighbors to come park her car. There are rumors that she grows pot on her roof.

She's notoriously terrible at parallel parking, despite being a lifelong New Yorker and will often ask one of her neighbors to come park her car. There are rumors that she grows pot on her roof.

Ellen's obsessed with her.

Ellen's obsessed with her.

And Ellen has heard from her neighbors who are also obsessed with Patricia that Patricia's been cited standing and admiring the 12-foot-tall skeletons at least twice in the past week. Amazing. Ellen has run into Patricia in front of the 12 foot tall skeletons herself, but it's only a matter of time. How would you strike up a conversation with your glamorous divorcee stoner neighbor?

And Ellen has heard from her neighbors who are also obsessed with Patricia that Patricia's been cited standing and admiring the 12-foot-tall skeletons at least twice in the past week. Amazing. Ellen has run into Patricia in front of the 12 foot tall skeletons herself, but it's only a matter of time. How would you strike up a conversation with your glamorous divorcee stoner neighbor?

Those are mine. I spent $600 on those skeletons.

Those are mine. I spent $600 on those skeletons.