Shade Zahrai

Whereas if you unpack it and go, okay, well, why do I feel this guilt and shame?

It's because I love my cat.

I want to be there for my cat.

So what this is showing me actually is that my priority is to be there for my cat.

And the fact that I wasn't able to do it in this moment is highlighting that maybe I want to change.

I mean, it's different with a cat.

Like let's say it was a child, which Delilah might be your child, but we see this a lot with our clients.

So it's a child and you miss their dance recital because your work trip got extended and you feel so guilty and full of shame.

Instead of telling yourself, I'm a bad parent.

I'm such a bad parent because you'll start to notice other ways that you've fallen short.

You say, well, this is telling me that I really prioritize kids.

I wanna be there for my kids.

That means I'm not gonna take as many work trips.

While they're young, I'm not gonna do it.

I'm gonna make a decision to change something, to change how I'm feeling about the things I'm missing out on.

So see how you've just uncovered and unlocked the underlying meaning of an emotion rather than just experiencing it and allowing it to attack you.

Here's another example.

Let's say that you are at work or at the gym and you see someone else getting mistreated.

Maybe someone's treating them with, you know, there's prejudice or something.

And you get really angry, extremely angry.