Shade Zahrai

And so what you want to do in those moments is use what we call the opposite action strategy.

Super simple, comes from dialectical behavior therapy.

You simply go, okay, well, there is no physical threat right now.

Different story, if there's a tiger here or there, you know, there's no physical threat.

I'm going to do the opposite of what my body's telling me to do.

I'm going to sit up.

I'm going to lift my gaze, shoulders down and back.

arms outstretched, as opposed to the kind of shrinking that we do.

And I'm going to take some deep breaths.

What that does is hijack that automatic process that is trying to get you to withdraw and instead reminds you, hey, I'm safe.

I'm here.

I'm leaning in.

That's a really, really quick way to shift how you're feeling.

Because again, you're reminding your thoughts and your brain, hey, I can think these things, but actually I'm taking ownership.

I'm shifting my attention.

The other thing, which also links to that is instead of what if this fails?

What if this concedes?

What if I do make a great connection here?

What if it goes well?

You just counter it with that.