Shahroo Izadi

But I was like, wait, wait, wait, everyone.

Like, I need to first get rid of what body negativity has done, has left on me.

And then I'm all for it.

So can you explain that to me again?

Yeah, I wasn't eating to feel... I didn't like food.

That's fascinating.

I think that women were given a new thing to do wrong.

And we were told to turn on a dime.

So it was like it was infused into us.

Be thin, be thin, be thin, be thin.

Don't eat so much.

Don't eat so much.

Don't look fat.

And then body positivity came and we're like, oh, thank goodness.

But the world hadn't turned on a dime that way.

Our own learning was too deep.

It wasn't as easy as now just like what you see and be cool with it because you know that the source was rotten and you know about the patriarchy, you know about feminism and you know about health and you know about eating disorders.

And it's like, yeah, but my behaviors are ingrained now.

You have taught me.

to punish and restrict myself and now I'm resurfacing in a world where you're saying diet culture was all wrong but I don't know how to eat because as you know some of us are only ever making things better or worse at any given time but we're doing constantly and you have to eat all day and now you're telling me I have to eat all day and I have a list of hundreds upon hundreds of foods that I only associate with relapse