Shane Parrish

And that story can become empowering.

And I think in this case, it sort of allows me the courage to put that out in the world.

Yeah, I try to get them to just pause and think.

I mean, we're all animals.

So biologically, you know, we share these tendencies with other animals.

We're hierarchical, we're territorial, we're self-preserving, you know, we're ritualistic.

And

So often what happens is we have these ordinary moments that lead to disastrous sort of outcomes.

And I see it with my kids, right?

They start bickering and then it becomes this slow escalation.

They're about 14 months apart and one person will slight the other.

And then before you know it, they're nearly wrestling on the floor.

And I was like so frustrated with this.

And I was like, they don't know that they're escalating.

If they knew they were escalating, my theory was they would choose not to.

And all the energy that they're spending escalating with each other comes at the expense of things they want to do, whether it's video games or homework or play with their friends or anything else.

So all this energy is just being wasted.

It's this wasted energy and it's kind of unproductive.

And so I learned to start asking them, like, is this behavior going to get you closer or further away from what you want?

And that was a really effective question.