Shankar Vedantam

are you saying in some ways that as people perceive that they are not important in the eyes of others, in some ways they become less important in their own eyes, that it triggers self-criticism, self-hatred?

So people who feel like they don't matter also end up experiencing more conflict with their friends and family members.

What's the connection here, Gord?

So it's almost like a vicious cycle.

I think that I don't matter to you.

Maybe in response, I derogate you or I hold you at some distance.

You perceive me now as being standoffish.

And now I have even more evidence that I don't matter to you.

What's the relationship between not mattering and depression and substance abuse?

Every time I read the statistics on suicide, Gord, I'm really taken aback.

Some 50,000 people die by suicide in the United States every year.

I'm sure the number is high in Canada as well.

And of course, worldwide, I think the statistics suggest that more than 700,000 people a year kill themselves.

Is there a connection between a feeling of not mattering and extreme actions like attempting or contemplating suicide?

And it's important to note here, for anyone who may be struggling with thoughts of suicide, help is just a call or text away.

In the United States, listeners can reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.

For those outside the US, there's a link in today's show notes with information on how to connect with support in your country.

Gord, we hinted at this a little while ago, but research suggests that our unmet need to feel like we matter is linked to aggression and violent behavior.

We talked about the Columbine school shootings, but I feel like almost every time there's a report of a mass shooting or a school shooting, it invariably transpires that the shooter was socially isolated or felt humiliated and ignored for years.

So in some ways, people are saying, you know, I feel like I don't matter, but I'm going to prove to you that, in fact, I do matter, and I'm going to do it, you know, at the point of a gun.