Shannon Curry

You are exactly right.

It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Yeah, it's very caring.

So that's, I mean, that's, I think, the beauty of what the Gottman research showed us, taught us, provided us is that we can do these things that become cyclic and just keep growing this relationship, making it stronger, more powerful, more loving.

You would never want to cut it down.

So in that Gottman method of therapy, there are all these different, I mean, hundreds of different interventions.

And based on what the issue is in that session, you can decide the most appropriate intervention.

And so this is a specific intervention for if it is a conflict that occurred and there are different types of conflicts.

So this would be more like an incident

It's not a perpetual recurring problem, which has actually a different intervention where you kind of look at the underlying belief systems, values, and the goal is not to solve that problem.

The goal in that situation is to actually just get a better understanding of each other and your positions and just you stop seeing your partner as the adversary and you start seeing them as a person who makes sense.

But if there's been a specific event, a specific fight that's just sort of situational, but it's left bad blood, things were said or you didn't feel understood, this intervention I was talking about is one that you would go through a series of steps where first you identify the emotions that you were feeling, then you describe the

play by play your movie, your perspective.

If your partner were looking through your eyes, this is what they heard, saw, thought, then they saw this, then they heard this.

So you're not saying, yeah, then you came in and were yelling and acting crazy.

You're saying, so then I saw you come in.

I heard you say, and I thought to myself, well, great.

Now everything's ruined, right?

So you're showing them your movie.

then they have to summarize the movie for you and then vice versa.