Shannon Curry

And then there's this step where each person validates some part that they can understand.

Like based on what you saw, heard, I can actually understand how you felt one of those feelings that you said.

And then my favorite part is you rewind sort of the movie from that day back through into childhood and you land on a time, a memory when you felt a similar set of feelings.

And this is like the most beautiful part ever because let's say the feeling was I felt misunderstood.

I felt misjudged, uncared about, unloved, like you didn't even like me.

And I'll say, when did you feel that way?

You know, land on a time and they're like, my whole childhood.

You know, my parents were, my mom was always accusing me of doing things I wasn't doing and it would set me up and my dad would come home.

He'd hear about it.

He would just believe her.

And then you have like a partner climbing up on the couch, like give their partner a hug while they're sharing the story.

It's beautiful.

And it changes the way you interact in future disagreements.

Yeah.

You can't unlearn.

Now you know this about your partner.

You know what they're sensitive to.

It all makes sense.

Yeah.

So you maybe were in this dumpster dive in your head of how your partner sucks and all the things that are wrong with them and it's so hopeless.