Shannon Curry

You want to watch it tonight?

So they don't need to process it, but there is an understanding between them that we're still in this together, we care about each other, and there's a repair attempt.

Most people need to be able to process it verbally and talk about what happened, but not all.

I don't wanna say should, I guess it depends on the couple.

Everybody processes emotions differently.

Everybody handles emotional expression differently.

I mean, I have couples where I have one person in the partnership who has autism and the other doesn't.

And so they're obviously going to have different ways of communicating or processing what happened.

We all have different perspectives.

It really depends on what makes a person feel like it's been repaired.

What makes a person feel understood?

Does that need to be verbal?

Or in the case of that older couple I have where they know they understand one another because there's a gentleness toward one another after.

Well, the Gottmans identified what they call the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

I mean, I could just keep it simple and go off their research.

Those are four different behaviors that you can identify in couples that are really highly predictive of a divorce, some more than others, but I'll start with the lower ones.

So one thing that we, by the way, actually, we all do these things.

These would be in that five to one ratio.

You'd want to stay away from some of these.

These are the ones.