Shauna Game
speaker
32 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Apr 2025
last heard Apr 2025
Shauna Game’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Such a good question, Elizabeth. I think that we live in this vacuum where we think that money is only about math. And it's really unfortunate because it is about so much more. It's about emotions and behaviors and habits and story and how we were raised. And all of that plays into how we save, spend, and even earn our money.
So I think it's so critical that we bring this idea of relationship with money into the conversation about pools. And particularly for most of us, you described your relationship in December as toxic, right? A lot of people would probably borrow that word as well because they just feel stuck.
There's something that you want to do or achieve and you cannot figure out why in the world can I not make this happen? And so usually when people get to that spot, I say, okay, this is the time where we need to explore this thing called relationship with money and figure out, you know, what's going on behind the scenes that's stopping your progress towards these goals.
That's a very real scary feeling that a lot of people have because let's be honest, most of us do not like looking at our bank account. I often say like we need to tiptoe into this really exploration around relationship with money. And there's lots of different ideas and exercises and kind of tactics I can give you.
But I think the first place is thinking about one word to describe your relationship with money. But then we got to dig deeper. So if it's toxic, I'm going to ask you, okay, Elizabeth, like why? Why is it toxic? And I don't know, maybe you would say, well, December is the holidays and oh my gosh, we all overspend. Okay, so tell me about that, right?
And so it's this exploration of just digging deeper and deeper with yourself until you get to some sort of foundation of like, okay. This is really what it is about. I work with so many people and their biggest fear is that there's just never enough money. And so my follow-up is, okay, well, what is enough? And why are we not in that place? And this just requires this kind of asking of ourselves.
So I tell you that just to say, don't take it like I'm going to fix my whole relationship with money in one day. Let's just take it bite by bite.
I think it's really important that if we were creating the equation for financial success, I would say the inner work comes first. Inner work is a lot of what we're talking about here. It's thinking about the words that describe your relationship with money. But something else that is really important is this idea of money story.
And a lot of people might have heard that before, but not quite understand the context. I talk about this in the book that by age seven, we've really developed our sort of viewpoint on money, our habits, our behaviors, our beliefs. And it's kind of scary to think about that because I don't remember a lot from my childhood, like 37 years old. But to think that that time period was that impactful.
So really going back and thinking about, okay, what was my childhood like around money? What did my parents talk about, not talk about? Were they fighting? Were they not? Were we having to go without? Was there excess? Like all of those messages and beliefs.
And if it helps you, just go back to your earliest memories around money and kind of explore those and see if there's any patterns between those memories and those messages and how you're interacting with money today.
Thank you for your transparency there. I wish that we all could have more conversations like this because I'm sure there's a listener that's like, oh my gosh, I have the same version of story that Elizabeth does. But I think that we really need to look at what's happening in our body. So...
Whenever you're looking at your bank account, right, or you're transferring money, or you're looking at your paycheck, or let's say that you're having a money discussion with your partner or your family members, I want you to become aware of what's happening in your body. So is your heart racing? Are your palms getting sweaty?
Do you feel like you would rather just run out of the room than deal with the situation? All of those are somatic bodily cues. that something is going on with your relationship with money. And when you notice one of those things happening, don't judge yourself. Just pause and say, okay, where is this coming from? Is this coming from a belief from my childhood?
Is this coming from something real where maybe there just isn't enough money? And that's bringing me back to this place of just this extreme fear around money. Maybe you grew up where money was really tight. So I think the body gives us so many clues when it comes to money, but we just don't tune into that. We're just purely looking at the numbers piece.
So use your body as an indicator, a moment to pause and say, okay, what's going on and where does this come from?
There's so many different exercises you can use. It depends if you're somebody who loves to journal. I have an exercise called Hey Money, and I literally write money a letter. Sometimes it's a couple of words and it's not a very nice letter. Sometimes it's, oh, this great thing happened.
But the process of doing something like that is helping me move past these places of fear that are stopping my ability to move forward with money. There's also financial therapy. But I think that what we need to do is when we notice... the feeling. We need to acknowledge it, go, okay, it's there. And then we need to think about what action step can I pair with this that might help this?
So if it's a feeling of there's never enough money, maybe I might look at like, okay, have I set up an emergency fund? Am I contributing to my 401k? Like, am I actually taking actions to help counteract this belief that I have?
The first pace that you have to start is obviously, what do I want? And I know this feels like a really big question. And some people don't even allow themselves to go there with money because it feels like, oh, this isn't possible. Or I've never seen this happen in my family. How dare I think about building, I don't know, generational wealth or a business that I could sell or...
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