Shawn Ryan

Yeah.

Did you do... I'm just curious.

Did you partake in any drug use as a child?

Uh, yeah, I, you know, I tried everything.

But I didn't, nothing stuck.

Nothing stuck like alcohol.

Nothing?

Yeah.

I actively sought out the thing that I thought was the most destructive thing that I could do to myself at that moment in time, beyond physically harming myself.

What... What was it that... What was it that took you to rehab?

What was it that made you want to get better?

Like, what was the realization?

Finally, at the end, I mean, that was in 2000, I think, I get my years a little bit mixed up, but that was a year after Bo's death, 2016, where I basically stayed sober and attempted to stay sober for that year period, in which I was under the care of somebody, a professional.

And the thing that wanted me to stay sober

sober and clean is my family is that, you know, I have, I, my, um, uh, uh, my three oldest daughters are, uh, are like, they were my whole world.

And, um,

And I was an enormous, you know, I was like a constant presence in their life because for the vast majority of it, I was clean and sober.

And I was not a user or a drinker in that I would ever kind of do it around them.

I don't think that there are more than maybe a handful of times, and I can't speak for them.

All I can say is this.