Shekhar Natarajan

But how do you build trust in the process?

I thought refusal is a better thing because then if you're experiencing more and more, does it not build anxiety on the opposite side?

Let's say there are two partners, you and me.

You're very loving and caring, but you're also extremely violent.

I cannot take that shit all day long if I'm on the other side.

What is the boundary condition in that?

How do you define the boundary condition?

Because it's the tolerance of the other person, not like so much... This is what's so complicated.

Oh my God, please explain.

So, like, most couples I know, like, because I talk to a lot of them who go through marital issues, like, somehow, like, they get my shoulder, I don't know why.

They get your shoulder.

I don't know why, like, okay, like, please.

The thing that they struggle with is they don't know when to walk away to avoid conflict and when to engage in a conversation.

Because sometimes what happens is, I'm just not hypothesizing, I've gotten like 10, 15 families who have had my shoulder.

So not that I'm a freaking psychologist, but I think I just listen and hear them out.

is they get into the situation where as soon as you start discussing things about the stuff you don't like, then it becomes a blame game.

You said that and hence it triggered me.

I said this, hence it triggered that.

Without actually addressing the subliminal causality of what was really causing it.

What was aggravating of that behavior?