Shonda Rhimes

My work example is that I used to try to, you know, I used to have to let people go sometimes.

I have fired people who did not know they were fired and came to work the next day.

Because...

I swear to God, because I was so scared, so scared of having the conversation.

You know, the thing where you like say lovely things to get them started and settled in, and then you say the hard thing.

That does not work for me because I would say all the lovely things and I'd watch people's faces grow more hopeful and more engaged and more comfortable.

And then I'm like, and now I'm supposed to hit them with a hammer.

Like that's not, it's not going to happen.

So lately I've started, not in a really cruel way, but in a way that's really frank is I'm like, just don't bury the lead.

Like start with, this is not working and here's why.

And then go from there.

Because otherwise, if I have to hold off while I'm saying all that, I'm never going to say it.

I can't bear the conflict.

So to me, I'm like, you have to have the difficult conversations because the peace it brings you is incredible.

The peace it might bring the other person is incredible to have it be acknowledged out loud that this thing is not working is great.

Right.

But you really have to be willing to say the hard thing.

And I'm always like, say the hard thing first, if you can.

That way, I don't have to worry that maybe I have never said it at all, which is the other thing.

I was like, that meeting went great.