Simon Thomas

We go into what some would call our cave.

We kind of want to pull the door across and just sit in the darkness and be on our own away from people.

And I knew I was in a bad place because no one, I don't want to be around people.

But of course, I'm doing a game at Stamford Bridge, doing a Chelsea home game.

I've got to be around people.

I've got to be around the producers, the camera crew, the graphics guys, all the assistant producers.

It's not optional.

But I remember just quickly going onto the catering bus because it was a lunchtime kickoff, having a bit of breakfast.

I just wanted to get out there.

Normally I'd be like on there having banter with all the guys and girls, just having fun.

And then we get down to the serious business of doing the program and I just didn't want to be there.

And so I got off the bus really quickly and my producer Billy came round and he just said, can I have a word?

Or is there going to be something in the buildup I didn't know about and it's going to be really complicated?

And he said, can we just go over here?

So he took me away from everybody.

he just simply said this he said sigh he said you're not yourself at the moment he said i've noticed other people have noticed are you okay and a simple question a simple acknowledgement that i wasn't okay i wasn't myself and it was like the floodgates just opened i remember just tears coming down my face and i said no mate i'm in a real mess yeah i told him everything that was going on

And it was such a relief.

And the way he responded to it was, okay, we can't do anything right now.

We're on air in an hour and a bit.

But I will be in your ears, in the earpiece from the truck as much as possible to help you through, almost like hold your hand through the next three hours on air.