Simone Stolzoff

And yeah, like I talked to these people and I won't spoil the ending because you'll have to read the book.

But I think there's something very cool about what they did because I think our natural tendency is to either just break up or grit our teeth and carry on.

And they actually sort of created a container, a space to explore some of that uncertainty.

And it was a very illustrative year for both of them.

I think it's an example of treating your life more experimentally than definitively.

i think they in that moment honestly weren't sure what they should do about their relationship and because that uncertainty is so uncomfortable the natural tendency is to like find certainty in one way or another so i'll give a quick analogy and then i'll come back so michael dugas this psychologist that i talked to said that when we are incredibly uncomfortable with uncertainty

it normally leads us to one of two different behaviors.

We can either be incredible information gatherers, like try and learn everything that's possible, or be incredibly impulsive.

So if like you're really uncomfortable with uncertainty and you need to buy a new pair of jeans, if you're uncomfortable, you might either try to try on every single pair of jeans in the store or like buy the pair of jeans in the window.

And we probably can all think of like

If we're further on one end of that spectrum or the other.

Instead of linking to the impulsivity or thinking that we need to sort of thought experiment our way and gather tons and tons of information, they decided to actually get proximate to the experience of what it would be like to break up.

And, you know, I talked to many different experts about this particular case.

When I talk to just like lay people, I do like an informal survey and it's about 50-50.

About half of the people that I talked to think that, of course, they broke up.

Like they gave their energy away from the relationship for a year.

And the other half is like, it's the Pina Colada song.

Like, of course, they got back together.

It's a Hallmark movie.

And I think that sort of