Sonja Lyubomirsky

Yes.

And I want to also, I'm going to do that, but I also want to validate that, yes, it is.

It seems so counterintuitive, kind of at the lowest point where you really want to feel love to sort of advise people to show interest in the other person.

But that's exactly what is needed.

And to really ask the person, why is it?

that they are responding the way they are.

It's showing curiosity in them.

And by the way, I do also want to add a caveat, which is that once in a while, it's not going to work.

It's going to fail.

The other person is not going to respond.

They're not going to reciprocate.

That is going to happen once in a while.

And maybe that means that you need to walk away or you need to pause or you need to try something different or you accept the fact that that's how it's going to be.

And so I don't want, I'm not a Pollyanna and I don't think that it's going to work 100% of the time, but I think it's very, very powerful what we're talking about.

So the seesaw, we spell sea like underwater, right?

And the reason we spell it this way is this idea that there's a seesaw underwater and we're sort of partially submerged and sort of say you and I are sitting on opposite ends of the seesaw.

So most of us are submerged, but maybe the top of our heads or the top of ourselves are showing.

And that's what's going on in most of the world.

Like we're showing just like a little tip of ourselves to one another, just kind of maybe the shiny parts, maybe the positive qualities, right?

Most of us, like it's kind of the iceberg, right?