Sonja Lyubomirsky

It's under the water.

We're not really showing to each other.

And then the idea is that, again, we're sitting on the seesaw.

And then when I show genuine curiosity and interest in you, and I ask you a question, what has been on your mind lately?

And I show warmth and acceptance, you feel a sense of warmth and trust and safety.

And it's as though I'm pressing down on the seesaw saying,

And it lifts you up a little bit.

It lifts you up a little bit.

So you're able to show a little bit more of yourself to me, right?

You're able to reveal a little bit more of your inner self, a little more of your full self, maybe some vulnerabilities.

And then as you do that, as you talk about maybe your childhood and how difficult it was, I listen really well to you.

I'm really listening.

I'm asking questions.

And that makes you even more, you know, feeling even more safe and trusting and even more comfortable listening

Sort of lifting more of yourself out of the water.

And then reciprocation happens, right?

And then you ideally then reciprocate and then show interest and curiosity in myself and lift me out of the water.

So it's kind of a process of I lift you and then you lift me and it's lifting and being lifted.

When you show genuine interest and warmth and listening towards the other person, it helps them be comfortable and helps them open up.

It helps us to know each other better.