Sonja Lyubomirsky

speaker

1,409 appearances 3 recordings 3 series first heard Feb 2026 last heard 25 Jun

Sonja Lyubomirsky’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 1.

Appearances

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Modern Wisdom · Why Nobody Feels Loved Anymore - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115 · 25 Jun 2026 podcast

And so you are sharing more of yourself.

And then I'm listening.

So listening is so critical.

Most of us are not very good listeners.

And so what we do when we're trying to listen, turns out the one study showed 25% of the time when we're listening, our mind is wandering.

And I bet it's higher than that because we have this inner chatter.

We're like distracted or we're mostly we're rehearsing what we want to say next, right?

How I'm going to respond to you.

And we also want to sort of fix or give advice, which I do all the time, instead of just simply making the person feel heard, which is what we're just talking about, and just validate it, right?

Which is like, wow, that must have been really hard or that must have been really inspiring.

You know, how did that feel?

And again, that sounds like therapy talk, but you can put in your own words, right?

Um, I do think the pendulum has swung a little too far on like validating over fixing, you know, that nail in the head video.

That's so popular.

The woman who has this nail in the head, or you've got to watch this.

So she has a nail in the head and she's like, Oh, I feel I'm in such pain.

And all my, all my sweaters are shredding.

And the guy's like, well, you have this nail in your head.

And she's like, and basically the point of the video is she just wants to be heard.

And then once he says, I'm so sorry.

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