Sonja Lyubomirsky

speaker

1,409 appearances 3 recordings 3 series first heard Feb 2026 last heard 25 Jun

Sonja Lyubomirsky’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 1.

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The idea, if you have a trauma, it doesn't define you.

It's like you're a quilt of many, many things.

Of course, you had the trauma.

You can't take it away, but it doesn't define you.

The Walt Whitman quote, you know, I am multitudes.

I contain multitudes.

So I'm like a quilt of both positive and negative qualities and traits and behaviors, right?

So sometimes I'm kind and other times I'm selfish.

Sometimes I'm loyal and sometimes I'm narcissistic.

And we're all like that, right?

And sort of use that multiplicity lens to turn on the other person.

So when you're revealing your story,

and you say something I might disapprove of, makes me uncomfortable, I use a multiplicity lens and see you as a human in all of your complexity.

And what's interesting about that is that when I tell this to people, everyone nods and they're like, oh yeah, of course.

And then when you actually give specific examples, it's really hard, right?

People will say, oh, what a jerk, right?

What an asshole, like he did that or she did that.

So that's a really hard one.

What would be the solution to someone reveals something negative about them?

I had a coach once, and a friend did something that I was really upset about.

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