Sonja Lyubomirsky
speaker
1,409 appearances
3 recordings
3 series
first heard Feb 2026
last heard 25 Jun
Sonja Lyubomirsky’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 1.
Appearances
But actually, on average, we crave to be asked, like we want to be asked about our lives, our inner lives, what we really think about something, what our childhood was like.
Right, because we think that that person wouldn't love me anymore if they kind of knew about this weakness of mine, this fault of mine, or this bad deed that I made.
And, you know, we're not always wrong, right?
I mean, sometimes people really do dislike others for certain traits or behaviors.
But we do it, we sort of overdo it.
We do it too much.
And one of the keys to feeling loved is being known to the other.
And if you're hiding...
you know, your vulnerabilities, your contradictions, your sort of messy insights from the other person, you won't feel love because you'll always wonder if they really knew me, then they wouldn't love me.
And it turns out that we often, when we disclose or show some of those contradictions or blemishes at the right pace, right?
We don't sort of dump them all at once when the person already knows us a little bit.
We often actually better liked.
You know, there's this famous case when JFK, after the Bay of Pigs, admitted to making a mistake and his approval ratings shot up.
So sometimes admitting failures can actually increase people's liking of us.
So you feel admired.
You feel, yeah, like you're impressed.
You're impressed at the other person, but you don't actually feel loved.
When you think about the definition of unconditional love, I mean, that's basically what unconditional love is, is that we're loved despite our blemishes and some of our flaws.
Yeah, it's performance.
And, you know, it's very human.
Showing 921–940 of 1,409 · page 47 of 71
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