Sophie Smith

Owen, he was born two years after Jasper died, just under two years later.

And yeah, Owen brought this incredible joy into our lives.

Oh, it was just incredible.

Well, having Owen and being allowed to hold my baby whenever I wanted, being allowed to feed my baby whenever I wanted, it was just so incredible.

And also, again, that's slightly sort of, you know...

maybe unusual thing, but I'd made a promise to myself after Jasper died that I did not want to hold another baby until I held my own baby.

So my next baby I was gonna hold will be my own.

So I didn't...

touch another baby for two years.

I managed to just avoid babies, or if a baby was being handed around, I'd just say, oh, I've got a cold, I won't, thanks.

And so holding Owen and being allowed to, you know, not being told to put him back and, you know, being able to feed, it was just incredible.

And I thought about that when I was pregnant.

I thought about, gosh, it's gonna be incredible being allowed to hold my baby.

But the thing I hadn't thought about

was what it was going to feel like to walk out of the hospital doors with my baby.

And it was so... Oh, my God.

We... I remember the day that we left the hospital.

You know, we collected him all up.

They said, okay, bye.

I started walking down the corridor holding him.