Spencer Matthews

I could just see the relationship slipping.

I could see that she would lose interest in me and, you know, put me on some scrap heap somewhere if I didn't make an actual change to my own health.

Yeah.

I think it was...

The fear of losing her was quite real.

Whereas, you know, I hope I'm not offending anyone, but I've never felt that before in previous relationships.

You know, I was quite selfish and I would do, you know, I'd go out and drink and stay out all night and do whatever I wanted really.

And, you know, if it didn't work, it didn't work.

And that was that.

You know, I've never considered marrying anyone but Vogue.

Thoughts never crossed my mind, you know.

And I was young, obviously.

And, you know, I'm not sure all the Maiden Chelsea stuff helped me much.

You know, it was all quite...

I thought it was fun for a while and then really kind of begin to almost hit self-destruct on purpose, you know, for like, you know, to dramatize situations.

And obviously that sticks with you for a while.

So that's a big part of what I, you know, like to try and put in the rearview mirror.

You know, I describe that person as my former self just because I've got nothing in common with him.

I went sober for two weeks before the final.

I was drinking very heavily when we were in Innsbruck.