Spencer Matthews

But worse than that, there was blame, I suppose, attributed in it all.

It didn't feel like a mistake.

I think if your loved one got hit by a bus, you're not going to necessarily blame anyone in the situation.

I carried a lot of resentment and I carried a lot of hatred towards people at quite a young age and probably felt like my...

pain was worse than yours.

So I developed a kind of lack of empathy quite early on for people's problems.

I've never felt like an empathetic person.

And I wonder if it's because when something terrible happens to you like that,

Do you just become slightly shut off to other people's pain because you feel like you've gone through it or not?

I don't know.

I've actually not spoken about that to a trained professional, so I wouldn't know, but it kind of makes sense to me.

Yes.

But also it's a slightly...

It's a slightly juvenile way of looking at it because, of course, all pain is subjective.

Exactly.

But all pain is obviously subjective and deeply personal.

And everyone listening to this has probably lost someone in their life.

So my situation is not special.

It's just I'm trying to understand why I turned out a certain way.

Yeah, he was a huge hero to me.