Begin Again with Davina McCall
Spencer Matthews: The Real Reason I Push Myself So Hard...
18 Dec 2025
In this episode of Begin Again, Spencer Matthews opens up about the life-defining challenge that forced him to confront fear, trauma, and who he really wanted to become. Spencer shares the story behind Project 7, his mission to complete seven Ironman triathlons across seven continents, and the moments he thought it might break him. From the freezing waters of Antarctica to terrifying encounters in Cape Town, he speaks honestly about fear, fatherhood, and the pressure to prove he’s changed. He reflects on the death of his brother Michael, his struggles with alcohol, and how falling in love made him want to become someone entirely new. Spencer talks movingly about his relationship with his wife, Vogue, and how wanting to be worthy of her transformed every part of his life. Spencer also talks about masculinity, emotional vulnerability, and why pushing his limits helps him stay grounded. This conversation is raw, reflective, and full of insight for anyone trying to rebuild or redefine themselves. Whether you're chasing self-improvement, navigating grief, or figuring out how to begin again this episode will resonate deeply. Don’t forget to like 👍, comment 💬, and subscribe 🔔 for more stories. Click the bell icon to stay updated on new episodes! 🌱 Project 7: https://givestar.io/gs/spencer-matthews-project-7 Follow us here: www.instagram.com/beginagain https://www.tiktok.com/@beginagainpod (00:00) Intro(01:13) Project Seven & Breaking Two World Records(09:49) Learning to Show Emotion and Express Himself(19:35) Overcoming Fear and Embracing Personal Growth(25:54) How Spencer’s Wife Vogue Transformed His Life(33:56) Spencer's Journey to Self-Discovery(37:09) Sponsored: Adobe Ad(38:15) Sponsored: Aura Frames Ad(39:17) Losing His Brother Michael and How It Shaped Spencer(47:38) Spencer’s Ongoing Commitment to Self-Improvement(50:53) Struggles With Alcoholism and Finding Moderation(59:12) James’ Place: Supporting Men’s Mental Health(01:04:17) Addressing the Modern Crisis in Masculinity(01:08:50) Inside Spencer’s New Documentary: Am I a Psychopath?(01:10:26) What’s Next for Spencer? Sponsored by: Adobe - https://Adobe.Ly/OneBetter Auraframes - https://auraframes.co.uk use code DAVINA for £35 off Carver Matt Frames Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
There were unusual circumstances surrounding my brother Michael and his death.
Chapter 2: What is Project 7 and why is it significant to Spencer Matthews?
We certainly felt that his death could have absolutely been avoided, and so I carried a lot of hatred towards people. Marrying an amazing woman who I want to be better for has been very helpful, but I could just see the relationship slipping if I didn't make an actual change.
Before you tell me about that, could you just explain to us what you did?
Two world record Ironman attempts, and we went from London to Arizona to Cape Town to Perth to Dubai to Rio and finished in Antarctica. These things make me feel really alive. Cape Town, it was the first time that the challenge felt very dangerous and that it could come to an end.
Shark City, isn't it?
Heart thumping, hyperventilating, lost sense in my arms and legs. I was just thinking about my kids.
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Chapter 3: How did Spencer learn to express his emotions more openly?
What a stupid way to die. But, you know, I've been incredibly lucky to have people that I admire in my own family, especially my brothers, Michael and James. I want my family and friends to know that I could handle this.
What is your next journey? Um, I think... I love you.
Nearly cried. I was so nearly there, I thought, how can I suppress these feelings?
And firstly, we've got to talk about Project 7 because I... Well, well done.
Thank you.
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Chapter 4: What fears did Spencer face during his Ironman challenges?
I mean, what, December the 4th you got back?
I got back just a few days ago. I think we finished around then. Unbelievable. Been back for 48 hours or something.
Unbelievable.
Chapter 5: How did Spencer's relationship with Vogue impact his transformation?
I mean, how are you physically feeling?
I feel much better than I thought I would. It's not so much a physical feeling, but very proud. And for me, that hasn't always been a given. You know, I've carried a fair amount of shame through my 20s and 30s. you know, regretted a lot of my behavior. And so for me to be able to express myself in this way is really meaningful to me. It feels like real progress.
You know, it's a big difference to where I feel I've lived before. And yeah, I'm just really proud of the team and what we did. I feel... And it's not so much for me to say, but I feel that we have done a really good job, you know, that we did something special, that we've made hopefully a bit of a difference. And, you know, the whole thing feels really worthwhile and I'm really happy with it.
Isn't that a nice feeling?
Chapter 6: What role did Spencer's brother Michael play in his life and struggles?
It's so good, isn't it? I mean, I can't even begin to imagine the level of training and input that you must have had to put in beforehand. Before you tell me about that, could you just explain to us what you did and the countries that you did it in?
Sure. So Project 7 was... Two world record attempts, one being the fastest time to achieve an Ironman distance triathlon on every continent. So seven Ironmans. We were aiming for 21 days.
Chapter 7: How does Spencer define self-improvement and its importance?
And then also the fastest Ironman in Antarctica as a kind of double-headed thing. For those that don't know, an Ironman, a full Ironman is a 3.8K swim, which is roughly 40 football fields, followed by a 180K bike, which is a cycle from London to Manchester, followed by a full marathon. And that's kind of, that's back to back as a single event.
Seven times, and we went from London to Arizona, to Cape Town, to Perth, to Dubai, to Rio, and finished in Antarctica. and only two people have ever done an Ironman in Antarctica before. I was the third and the fastest, which is great. You know, and actually it never really, that second record was a bit of a cherry on top.
You know, I never really spent too long thinking about that, but obviously nice to have a target and a bit of friendly competition. I managed to speak to the guy who inspired the whole journey, Connor Eminey. He's a triathlete from Toronto. And he was just incredible, lovely heart, very kind man, you know, just really helpful, gave me loads of great advice.
And, you know, we were doing this for a number of reasons, which I'm sure we'll get into, but it was... Yeah, I want to talk to you about that.
Chapter 8: What is the modern crisis in masculinity according to Spencer?
Pretty special time in my life again, and, you know, just delighted to be home. Kids surprised me at the airport.
Did they?
Yeah, it was an incredible feeling. Obviously, my gorgeous wifey, you know, Vogue... was doing The Jungle at exactly the same time. It was unfortunate timing. We've never gone that long without speaking to each other. Obviously, they take your phone. So not being able to share the experience in real time with her was quite a strange feeling. You felt a bit isolated.
And you must share everything, right? You're on the phone to each other all the time, every day. So not being able to do that must be so weird.
Just, yeah. Also, you know, when you have tremendous highs and lows in your life, it's lovely to talk about it with the people you love the most. And, you know, I'm closest to her in my life. And so having that blackout in communication was unfortunate, but also made the reunion that much better.
What was that like at the airport?
Oh, lovely. You know, I just... Did you cry? No, I didn't. We'll talk about this. Yeah, I know. My friend Jamie and I had an interesting conversation about crying. It's not something I actively suppress. I don't do it on purpose. I'm just not... It takes more than... normal situation I suppose for me to feel a huge amount of emotion.
I don't suppress it purposefully and I don't really know why that is.
What was the last thing that made you cry?
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