Spencer Matthews

Having experienced it quite intensely recently, it's interesting how it comes into play and how you allow it to affect you.

And I think I've certainly taken some lessons away from how I managed certain elements of the fear throughout the challenge because

In that moment, it was game over.

It was kind of, you felt like how you might imagine a panic attack to feel.

I've been fortunate to have never suffered a panic attack, but sort of felt like a heart attack.

And I've read before that panic attacks feel like you might be having a heart attack and heart thumping, hyperventilating, lost sense in my arms and legs.

Felt like, you know, if the support boat wasn't there, that I certainly could drown.

So pretty fear inducing.

you have to begin to kind of rationalise it and just say, what danger am I actually in here?

Because I'd spent a while panicking about the idea of being bitten by a shark and stuff that is actually somewhat irrational.

Yeah, I think shark attacks happen, but they're not common, if you know what I mean.

That's what I mean by it.

So, you know, there's always a chance, but also it's unlikely.

So it's kind of, and then you're tackling, it was pitch black, so not to drag it out, but arrived at the beach at 4.40 in the morning.

It's, everyone's sleeping.

It's dark, dark, no light of any kind.

Sand feels really cold.

I'm freezing in my wetsuit, which is unusual.

Normally you're kind of quite warm until you get in the water.

Felt cold going into the water, which, you know, again, just doesn't sit well.