Stace Don

Services knew about it, but... And the school.

I crumbled in a school meeting and ended up breaking down to the school because I just couldn't... I couldn't manage the situation.

Do you know what?

I gave my daughter the best that I could give her, do you know what I mean?

But...

Mentally, it damaged me.

And that was showing in day-to-day life, so sudden bangs, sudden knocks, people just walking past the house, and I'd be feared.

And my daughter had to watch my reactions to all that, so that became her normality, which isn't the best.

And I was crying out for services to help me, like, please help me.

And then...

A social worker come out and she went, well, you're asking us for all this out, but your case is the only case in the UK, so do you want us to use your daughter as a guinea pig?

That fucked me up.

That really, that ruined me because I just felt like I was supposed to have all the answers and I had none.

Yeah, I've got complex PTSD and I get the visuals as well.

Yeah, so basically they come in different stages.

So sometimes at night I can be content, I can be chilled and next minute I can see him watching me sleep.

Other times I can hear something in the night and I'll go to check it out and the ghost of him is stood on my stairs and I have to walk through the ghost of him.

Then there was another time my daughter, she'd gone to the shop

But she hadn't come back, so I'd gone to one shop and the shopkeeper said I'd sent her up to co-op because we didn't, like... But I think the card machine wasn't working, so she couldn't buy what she wanted to buy, so she'd gone to co-op.

And I'm running through the valley because I never really let her out of my sight, but, like, she'd become a teenager when this happened.