Stephanie Kuntz

That's a real turn because it used to be that men were the ones who were saying, well, I don't know if I'll get married.

Let's put it this way.

Fewer than 10% of people say they don't want to get married.

But what you have increasingly is quite a number of people who say they've no idea if they actually will get married.

And what's interesting to me is that that also goes along with

with a lot fewer people are saying that they are absolutely confident they would be a good spouse.

So I think what's going on here is we have much higher expectations of marriage, and people are not entirely sure that they're going to be able to make them.

And one big reversal in history is that it's now women who are less certain that they will actually end up married, even though they don't necessarily want to stay single.

They're much more likely than boys now to say, well, I have no idea if I'll actually end up married.

And I think that's in large part because...

that women's expectations of marriage and their relationships to men are changing faster than men's relationships with women and their expectations of themselves and of women.

Well, that's a very interesting question, because both young men and young women tend to want to have children, but young men want it much more than young women.

And I think, again, it's not because women don't necessarily want them, but because they have higher expectations of sharing.

the work of childcare and the joys of childcare.

So they are looking around at what's been happening to their parents and other people in the society and they are saying, I would love a marriage if it really involves a man who's going to completely share

child raising with me.

But if not, I can do without.

And some are saying, well, I can do it alone.

But many are saying, well, I just don't need to have children if it's just going to be the kind of hassle that I hear it is with so many older women complaining and leaving their husbands.

Well, I don't deny that there are instincts, but I think so much is socially embedded in us.