Stephanie Kuntz

And I think that men and women both have the potential to want to be with babies.

And it has remarkable effects that we can talk about at some point.

Caring for babies actively, not just looking on while your wife changes diapers, has tremendous effects on men's hormones and their...

But I think the reason women are having trouble with it is because they are now expecting to play a role in the outside world much greater than we have been assigned for the past 200, 300 years.

And so if they're going to play an equal role in the outside world, they're expecting that they want help, an equal help in the inside world and with kids.

And so a lot of the young people I talk to, a lot of my students over the years, have said to me, yes, I want kids.

And when they find a guy who wants them too and who they think is really going to step up to the plate, they tend to have them.

But they also...

tend to wait and see how the relationship is going.

They watch other people whose relationship's founder.

And in fact, having children, which used to be, you know, bragged about bringing parents closer, is now, it triggers a lot of extra conflicts in a marriage.

And so when they see that, they begin to say, well, maybe not, maybe not.

There's a lot of variability in that.

And of course, we're hearing a lot now from people who think that it's just too much trouble to get the men to help them out.

But what I see most frequently and read about in terms of people's complaints about marriage is that women really do want

They have the same sort of aspirations to develop themselves and their talents as men have always been encouraged to have.

And when a child comes, they really want to dig in and help that child, but they really want more of their father too.

And unfortunately, because of all the years that we have organized families differently,

It's very hard for men to learn to do this.

I mean, a lot, maybe I'm a softie on this, but a lot of women talk about how lazy men are and how they're not in tune.