Stephen Colbert

And they wouldn't rent me a horn?

No.

I wouldn't have got the horn?

Too expensive.

It cost like $250, which is like what you'd get paid in a month at Second City.

But I had to go in at the main stage.

And so I went to Carell and I said, I can't read sheet music.

Can you please write out the fingering for the horn and teach me an embouchure?

What's an embouchure?

Oh, that's the, that's the thing that makes the sound in the horn.

And like, you can get like three different.

Great.

Embouchure is a great word, especially if someone cuts a fart in front of you.

A nice thing to say is you go, Ooh, nice embouchure, you know, really tight on that embouchure.

And, um,

horn and so anyway uh i i was dating this girl now my wife evie mcgee in new york and i was supposed to go see her that weekend what did we do all weekend we sat in her apartment and i i learned anchors away pretty woman and taps oh you're hitting those drums wait no who is um listeners i don't know if you can hear but there's some drums happening in your house is someone playing

That's my son.

My son is practicing because he's going into his brother's band.

They got a gig next weekend in Brooklyn.

And so he's going down there to practice because their drummer's out for the week.