Steve Herz
speaker
95 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2025
last heard May 2025
Steve Herz’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
So what I did is I started going to these cocktail parties and really paying very careful attention for who else was in the room and who was folding their arms and standing there like that. with this off-putting language. Once in a while is fine, but staying there for five minutes every single interaction. And once I started noticing that, it would be a signal to me to stop doing it.
And I eventually cured myself of that. And that just gave me a little bit more warmth in my personality. And I didn't change. I wasn't even aware I was doing it. And the other thing I do is, as part and parcel of that, is when I talk to somebody, I position my hips directly parallel to theirs. If you're standing there like this, I don't turn away with my shoulders and hips.
I try to focus in on you and with the feeling that, hey, you're important to me. You're the one I'm talking to right now. And it was just another just slightly bad habit I had and easy to fix. And then the last one I'll give you is I talk about dentistry a lot because I had my front teeth knocked out as a kid and then knocked out again.
And I've had my front teeth are all caps and fakes and everything else. So since I was two growing up, I've always had a lot of sensitivity to my smile. I was never very proud of it or just sensitive to it. And yeah, Only in the last, I would say, 10 years, when I finally found an amazing dentist who fixed my gums, have I been really much more confident about smiling.
But I had 43 plus years of this bad habit of not smiling. And when I learned to smile more, I became warmer. And so these are the little tricks you can learn in this book to really change the way people perceive you in a very profound manner, I believe.
I agree. I mean, look, I feel that why I think this message hopefully will get some traction in the marketplace is is that it's really not that hard. It's not that hard to figure out five or six things that you're doing that you could change really easily. This is kind of like what I would call a communication diet, not a personality diet, just a communication diet.
And I'm not asking you to never eat potato chips again. I'm asking you to not fold your arms at a cocktail party or to make eye contact when you're talking So you'll have more authority or to smile a little bit more or to face somebody when you're talking to them or to work on your voice a little bit. This is not a very hard book to digest and to make some actionable change to.
It's just things that I think people unfortunately ignore at their own peril.
people to feel that i'm paying more attention to them right right so so you've increased your warmth because you know under my rubric of awe that warmth leads to greater connectivity greater trust because look you're you're putting you put your finger on a really important thing in that when you talk about earlier you know in this post pandemic or current pandemic how much trust is important to people and i do believe that trust is
foundation of every relationship, even your Uber driver, if you don't trust that person, that's the basis of all business. Once that trust is eroded, and look, not to get political, but I think we're seeing a lot of this anger and this tremendous groundswell that we've had around
the death of George Floyd, because I think if we really, besides the anger about the murder, it's just this idea that our trust has been eroded. This is, you know, not to impugn all police at all, but it seems like This one incident has really done a lot to affect people's trust. And that's a big thing.
Yeah, thank you. I found out two days ago that I was nominated for the next Big Ideas Club, which is a group that is cultivated by Adam Grant, Susan Cain, Malcolm Gladwell, and Daniel Pink. So to be in the nominees of that list, I think it was 15 books that were nominated in this summer, it's really quite humbling. I thought I had a good idea. Luckily, HarperCollins agreed, and they
agreed to publish the book. And so it's really been humbling to think about, you know, some of the other people in that list are really established authors and huge names in the world. And so the fact that my idea is resonating with people like Adam Grant, it means a lot to me.
So you can find it in any of your local bookstores and any Barnes & Noble, obviously. You can buy it at Amazon or anywhere any book is really sold. And if you want information about the book, you can buy an audible copy or just go to my website, which is www.stevenhers.com. And then you can follow me on all kinds of social media platforms, follow the blog.
And there's a one-click button to buy off there as well of any of these sites.
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