Steven Pinker

Exactly.

Because that would be crass.

And so what does it mean for it to be crass?

What it means is you're disrespecting the relationship you have where he is the authority and he sees you where and when he pleases.

You're treating him like a transactional relationship, which is a very different kind of human relationship.

Likewise, what's the difference between you want to come up for Netflix and chill and you want to come up for sex?

Well, with Netflix and chill, there isn't really plausible deniability.

I mean, you know, she's a grownup.

She knows what it means.

But she could have some doubt that you know that she knows that you know what it means.

And she could think, well, maybe he thinks I'm naive and I'm just turning down an invitation to a movie.

He could think, well, maybe she thinks I'm dense and that I might think she's naive or I might think that she doesn't realize that I'm not naive.

And so they can maintain, go back to their platonic relationship.

They haven't jumped to a different level.

Well, it's a plausible deniability of common knowledge.

Because when you think about it, it's really not that plausible.

Right.

Everybody knows.

But the thing is, everyone may not know that everyone knows.

Exactly.