Steven

Is that often the case with pathological liars? They've learned to lie as a way to survive.

Is that often the case with pathological liars? They've learned to lie as a way to survive.

Defense against reality.

Defense against reality.

You said something at the start when I gave the example that I have this... I sat with a guest here who went through domestic abuse and they are the calmest person. And then you said, well, maybe they're suppressing it. And in fact... The minute you said that, it reminded me of something they said, which is they said to me on this podcast that they had angry outbursts all the time.

You said something at the start when I gave the example that I have this... I sat with a guest here who went through domestic abuse and they are the calmest person. And then you said, well, maybe they're suppressing it. And in fact... The minute you said that, it reminded me of something they said, which is they said to me on this podcast that they had angry outbursts all the time.

So sometimes their child will come up to them and want to play when they're working and they'll snap. And they're trying to deal with that.

So sometimes their child will come up to them and want to play when they're working and they'll snap. And they're trying to deal with that.

You said before, before this book, that awareness is the starting point.

You said before, before this book, that awareness is the starting point.

I found that to be so true in my life, but it's not very easy. I feel like awareness is a luxury or a privilege that is very hard fought because you're guessing. You're guessing based on pattern recognition. So I was guessing 25 years old, I can't get into a relationship. Anytime a girl comes near me, even if I've pursued her, I run off.

I found that to be so true in my life, but it's not very easy. I feel like awareness is a luxury or a privilege that is very hard fought because you're guessing. You're guessing based on pattern recognition. So I was guessing 25 years old, I can't get into a relationship. Anytime a girl comes near me, even if I've pursued her, I run off.

And to figure out why I was doing that, to even identify the behavior pattern and go, that's not helpful. That's not going to lead me to feeling whole. Where does that come from? Took 25 years and a lot of like introspection. But most people, they're living unaware of the puppet master of trauma that is driving their life.

And to figure out why I was doing that, to even identify the behavior pattern and go, that's not helpful. That's not going to lead me to feeling whole. Where does that come from? Took 25 years and a lot of like introspection. But most people, they're living unaware of the puppet master of trauma that is driving their life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Interesting. Liberation and by reconnection.

Interesting. Liberation and by reconnection.

which is like cutting the strings in a way. Kind of brings me to, there's kind of two ways I want to go with that. But the first question I have about trauma and the puppet master analogy is, do we ever really cut the strings or do we just kind of learn to pull against them when they try and tell us to do something with more force than they're exerting in the opposite direction?

which is like cutting the strings in a way. Kind of brings me to, there's kind of two ways I want to go with that. But the first question I have about trauma and the puppet master analogy is, do we ever really cut the strings or do we just kind of learn to pull against them when they try and tell us to do something with more force than they're exerting in the opposite direction?