Steven

But what if I come up with an excuse? I say, oh, I just checked. I've got a meeting, Jefferson, so I can't come for the coffee.

Why is that a problem?

Why is that a problem?

But we don't want to offend somebody. Yeah, that's the people pleasing, right? Yeah, so like someone says to me, Hey, Steve, I know you're in Austin. This actually happens. Hey, Steve, I know you're in Austin. Would be great to get a coffee with you while you're in town on Monday. And I look at my calendar and I go, I'm free on Monday, but I just don't want to go. So what do I say to them?

But we don't want to offend somebody. Yeah, that's the people pleasing, right? Yeah, so like someone says to me, Hey, Steve, I know you're in Austin. This actually happens. Hey, Steve, I know you're in Austin. Would be great to get a coffee with you while you're in town on Monday. And I look at my calendar and I go, I'm free on Monday, but I just don't want to go. So what do I say to them?

I just go, listen, I...

I just go, listen, I...

This is the problem.

This is the problem.

yeah and i was reflecting over over um new years i was at a restaurant and i was reading this book about i think it was called the courage to be disliked and it was just developing my thinking on just trying to be a bit more sort of radically can give more radical candor to situations yeah and we were sat in this like bar or whatever me and my friend and um the owner of the bar had come over and he's been really nice and he likes the podcast and stuff when we're talking and

yeah and i was reflecting over over um new years i was at a restaurant and i was reading this book about i think it was called the courage to be disliked and it was just developing my thinking on just trying to be a bit more sort of radically can give more radical candor to situations yeah and we were sat in this like bar or whatever me and my friend and um the owner of the bar had come over and he's been really nice and he likes the podcast and stuff when we're talking and

And I was trying to practice this art of just being honest in those sort of people-pleasing moments. And my friend says to him, oh, we've got something to get to, blah, blah. And we hadn't got anywhere to go. Yeah, of course. So I remember interjecting and going... We want to leave in 10 minutes.

And I was trying to practice this art of just being honest in those sort of people-pleasing moments. And my friend says to him, oh, we've got something to get to, blah, blah. And we hadn't got anywhere to go. Yeah, of course. So I remember interjecting and going... We want to leave in 10 minutes.

So if they can get here before then, then I'm more than happy to like sign the books and stuff, whatever they want me to do. And it was so interesting how much better I felt about myself when I was just honest with this guy. Like I was like, no, I don't have anywhere to be. I just want to go. Exactly. Yeah.

So if they can get here before then, then I'm more than happy to like sign the books and stuff, whatever they want me to do. And it was so interesting how much better I felt about myself when I was just honest with this guy. Like I was like, no, I don't have anywhere to be. I just want to go. Exactly. Yeah.

But it's not easy on a day-to-day basis because even when I did land here in Austin, there were people that texted me saying – Of course. here in Austin, let's go for a coffee. And in reality, here's what my brain is saying. My brain is saying, I need to spend time with my partner. When I'm not recording this podcast, I need to do my bloody, like my to-do list and my Slack and my emails.

But it's not easy on a day-to-day basis because even when I did land here in Austin, there were people that texted me saying – Of course. here in Austin, let's go for a coffee. And in reality, here's what my brain is saying. My brain is saying, I need to spend time with my partner. When I'm not recording this podcast, I need to do my bloody, like my to-do list and my Slack and my emails.

And then I need to go to the gym as well. So it's not that I don't want to go for coffee with you. It's that like, I have other priorities that I'm pressing. So how would I communicate to them in that moment that, they're just not a high priority. It's not a high priority for me to go for a coffee.

And then I need to go to the gym as well. So it's not that I don't want to go for coffee with you. It's that like, I have other priorities that I'm pressing. So how would I communicate to them in that moment that, they're just not a high priority. It's not a high priority for me to go for a coffee.

And then that's where the anxiety kicks in, and that's where we just push it off. What if the excuse is real? So I've been invited to this dinner in London. I actually can't go, but it's someone that I care about a lot. I can't go because of my calendar, and I haven't responded to the email yet. I think in part because I'm trying to figure out how to let them know.