Steven

Why don't they want to listen? Like, why aren't they listening?

Yes. And I was reading something over Christmas, which is really front of mind. And I think it's part of why I'm so interested in this subject. It was called The Courage to be Disliked. And in the opening chapter of the book, it confronts this... It's this kid basically arguing with this philosopher. And the kid is saying to the philosopher kind of exactly what we've said.

Yes. And I was reading something over Christmas, which is really front of mind. And I think it's part of why I'm so interested in this subject. It was called The Courage to be Disliked. And in the opening chapter of the book, it confronts this... It's this kid basically arguing with this philosopher. And the kid is saying to the philosopher kind of exactly what we've said.

No, I'm a victim of my life, the things that happened to me, my trauma. This is the way that I am, and I don't believe I can change. And the philosopher's making the case to the kid that you can in fact change.

No, I'm a victim of my life, the things that happened to me, my trauma. This is the way that I am, and I don't believe I can change. And the philosopher's making the case to the kid that you can in fact change.

And really the, like, insight, the thing the philosopher ends up saying to this kid, which spun my brain for a while and is still spinning my brain a little bit, is this idea that what happened to us doesn't determine our lives, but... We use what happened to us to achieve a goal that we have today.

And really the, like, insight, the thing the philosopher ends up saying to this kid, which spun my brain for a while and is still spinning my brain a little bit, is this idea that what happened to us doesn't determine our lives, but... We use what happened to us to achieve a goal that we have today.

Now, to put this into like a practical real example, if I am a kid that is 27 years old and I'm still in my mum's basement and I'm not going out there and getting a job, I might say, yeah, I want a job, but actually being in my mum's basement is actually serving me in some way. And it might seem to be self-destructive to someone looking in, but my mum's bringing me my food.

Now, to put this into like a practical real example, if I am a kid that is 27 years old and I'm still in my mum's basement and I'm not going out there and getting a job, I might say, yeah, I want a job, but actually being in my mum's basement is actually serving me in some way. And it might seem to be self-destructive to someone looking in, but my mum's bringing me my food.

They finally show me attention. If I change, I lose the sympathy. If I change, I lose the attention. And actually, this attention has gotten a little bit addictive. This sympathy, this place of victimhood has gotten a little bit addictive to me in a way that I don't even know, in a way that's actually self-destructive in the near term and the long term.

They finally show me attention. If I change, I lose the sympathy. If I change, I lose the attention. And actually, this attention has gotten a little bit addictive. This sympathy, this place of victimhood has gotten a little bit addictive to me in a way that I don't even know, in a way that's actually self-destructive in the near term and the long term.

But at some subconscious level, I'm actually addicted to my pain and suffering. And it's funny because when I was... So I read the book and then I started writing because I like to read things and then try and write them into my own language and... I started thinking about someone in my own life.

But at some subconscious level, I'm actually addicted to my pain and suffering. And it's funny because when I was... So I read the book and then I started writing because I like to read things and then try and write them into my own language and... I started thinking about someone in my own life.

And it's just, I finally figured out this individual in my life that's been in my life for a long time, who, when you look at the actions, you go, they're ruining their own life. But when you dig deeper into their identity, Being a heroic victim is everything to them.

And it's just, I finally figured out this individual in my life that's been in my life for a long time, who, when you look at the actions, you go, they're ruining their own life. But when you dig deeper into their identity, Being a heroic victim is everything to them.

And actually, if this person walked into this room now and introduced themselves, it would take 60 seconds for them to get to a story of how they've been hard done by and how they've overcome it. But this means that help, aid, good decisions have had to always be secondary to protecting this narrative that they're a victim.

And actually, if this person walked into this room now and introduced themselves, it would take 60 seconds for them to get to a story of how they've been hard done by and how they've overcome it. But this means that help, aid, good decisions have had to always be secondary to protecting this narrative that they're a victim.

And actually, sorry to be on a bit of a rant here, at one point they were a victim. At one point, objectively, they went through some really horrific, horrible things. but the predator's gone now. So now they're looking for a predator and it's ruined their entire life.

And actually, sorry to be on a bit of a rant here, at one point they were a victim. At one point, objectively, they went through some really horrific, horrible things. but the predator's gone now. So now they're looking for a predator and it's ruined their entire life.

It's ruined their home, their family, their financials, because even when good things come by, good people come by, they find a way to make this person a predator and they find a way to make them the heroic victim. And so it really shifted my brain about like even my own trauma and the narratives and this hero story I tell about myself. I'm like, maybe I'm using what happened to me to serve a