Stu Gatz

Exactly right. When you're seven, you're proud to be a vampire. Exactly right.

Exactly right. When you're seven, you're proud to be a vampire. Exactly right.

So the vampire, the child vampire who bit my granddaughter, theoretically, while pretending to be and looking like a seven-year-old vampire, could have been six or seven hundred years old. Precisely.

So the vampire, the child vampire who bit my granddaughter, theoretically, while pretending to be and looking like a seven-year-old vampire, could have been six or seven hundred years old. Precisely.

Right. And imagine being that old and having the persona of a seven-year-old. That's got to mess with you.

Right. And imagine being that old and having the persona of a seven-year-old. That's got to mess with you.

The vampire was suspended from school. Good. For how long?

The vampire was suspended from school. Good. For how long?

I don't know. That's a good question. Suspended for the rest of his life. The vampires have names. We never get the name of the culprit. They don't give out kids' names when they have the chance.

I don't know. That's a good question. Suspended for the rest of his life. The vampires have names. We never get the name of the culprit. They don't give out kids' names when they have the chance.

Happy to say no. Oh, good.

Happy to say no. Oh, good.

That's a red mark.

That's a red mark.

You know, I'm physically stronger than a vampire. I don't know.

You know, I'm physically stronger than a vampire. I don't know.

What? No, I am. You're not.

What? No, I am. You're not.

Careful. Okay. Virtually all of the cooking I do includes garlic. I'm a big garlic fan.

Careful. Okay. Virtually all of the cooking I do includes garlic. I'm a big garlic fan.