Stu Gatz

I was at a restaurant recently, and some little kid was crying, and his dad was like, son, just remember, the most important thing in life is to never take anything personally. And I slid in and was like, unless you want to be the greatest basketball player who ever lived. Yeah, if they're great at sports, they're out of their minds. Tom Brady, not well. Did you see him try to play toward the end?

I was at a restaurant recently, and some little kid was crying, and his dad was like, son, just remember, the most important thing in life is to never take anything personally. And I slid in and was like, unless you want to be the greatest basketball player who ever lived. Yeah, if they're great at sports, they're out of their minds. Tom Brady, not well. Did you see him try to play toward the end?

Whenever he tried to run, he looked like he was on the toilet and he left his phone in the other room. Tom Brady tried to retire. Made it, like, ten days. Finally, he was like, I don't know these fucking kids. And they were like, Dad, will you come outside and throw the ball? And he was like, with you guys? No. No.

Whenever he tried to run, he looked like he was on the toilet and he left his phone in the other room. Tom Brady tried to retire. Made it, like, ten days. Finally, he was like, I don't know these fucking kids. And they were like, Dad, will you come outside and throw the ball? And he was like, with you guys? No. No.

Always Milums. Never what you said. I thought it was Milam's. Yeah, you're wrong. Dan? Tomato, tomato. What do you think? He doesn't go there. Milam's. Thank you, Dan.

Always Milums. Never what you said. I thought it was Milam's. Yeah, you're wrong. Dan? Tomato, tomato. What do you think? He doesn't go there. Milam's. Thank you, Dan.

The issue is that the person who's doing the checkout at the grocery store is usually old, too. And I need to go. I'll scan these 17 items quicker than you can scan the three items and then another three items and then Dan's 16 items. He's got to get celery. Oh, where's the barcode on the celery? I don't know where the celery is. All you got to do is tap the thing. Type in celery. Celery.

The issue is that the person who's doing the checkout at the grocery store is usually old, too. And I need to go. I'll scan these 17 items quicker than you can scan the three items and then another three items and then Dan's 16 items. He's got to get celery. Oh, where's the barcode on the celery? I don't know where the celery is. All you got to do is tap the thing. Type in celery. Celery.

Oh, it's 13 cents a pound. Perfect. Boom. All right, next.

Oh, it's 13 cents a pound. Perfect. Boom. All right, next.

What are we doing here? Masters Monday. This is ridiculous. By the way, if you won the Masters and Tiger wasn't in the field, you didn't win the Masters.

What are we doing here? Masters Monday. This is ridiculous. By the way, if you won the Masters and Tiger wasn't in the field, you didn't win the Masters.

In my personal record. Stupid.

In my personal record. Stupid.

Big boys. I was a big boy. I love big boys. I'm Stu Botts. Stu Botts.

Big boys. I was a big boy. I love big boys. I'm Stu Botts. Stu Botts.

That's the people. The story of the day is Rory. Or this show you're pitching. You got to roll for me. 80-20 my way.

That's the people. The story of the day is Rory. Or this show you're pitching. You got to roll for me. 80-20 my way.

Look, I am familiar.

Look, I am familiar.