Stuart Shanker

speaker

1,736 appearances 3 recordings 1 series first heard Oct 2022 last heard 3 Jul

Stuart Shanker’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

Appearances

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Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children · TPP 305a: Stuart Shanker on What Self-Regulation Is, Why It Matters, and How to Help Our Children (and Ourselves) Do It Better · 3 Jul 2026 podcast

And then share your calm and turning on.

Now, what you also have to do as an educator.

is you've got to learn this stuff.

And the most important thing they've got to learn, and the most important thing that parents have to learn, is a huge difference between misbehavior and stress behavior.

Misbehavior misbehavior is intentional.

Misbehavior is something that the kid has done on purpose.

Stress behavior is caused.

Both of my children, both boys, were constantly getting in trouble on the grounds that they were misbehaving.

But in fact they were stress behaviors caused, like my older son, very, very sensitive to to noise and odors.

My younger son very, very sensitive to distractions.

And the behaviors that they were punished for, th and and constantly being told that you have to choose.

You have to choose and suffer the consequences if you make the wrong choice.

But stress behavior.

is caused, it is not chosen.

And by punishing a child for stress behavior,

It is incredible how much harm you are doing.

And I am still having to undo the harm that was done to both kids.

Now tw they're now twenty and eighteen.

And they internalize it.

Well, I was educated at Oxford.

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