Stuart Shanker

speaker

1,736 appearances 3 recordings 1 series first heard Oct 2022 last heard 3 Jul

Stuart Shanker’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children · TPP 305a: Stuart Shanker on What Self-Regulation Is, Why It Matters, and How to Help Our Children (and Ourselves) Do It Better · 3 Jul 2026 podcast

And in fact, what you're doing is overstressing the three-degree go.

And sh she's self-regulating, but it's not a very good mechanism.

And so we have, we're born with self-regulating mechanisms, but for a kid, they really aren't very good.

Like if the kid is cold, cold temperature is a stress.

And the kid can be lying right beside her blanket, the baby, but doesn't, isn't able to pull the blanket up over.

over her, so we do it for her.

And as a child gets older, they learn better and better ways of consciously self-regulating.

And that means of recognizing when they're overstressed, learning how to handle that stress in a way that reduces the stress and doesn't create more stress.

In fact, I'll just mention as an aside that the big crisis that

We're seeing right now is if you want, we can talk about it later, but a generation that is doing the wrong things to self-regulate.

Now what happens when a child self-regulates in a healthy way?

is they stop those stress behaviors in their tracks by reducing the stress, those behaviors, and it could be behaviors, it could be things like oppositional behavior.

It could be something in their mood, it could be their poor attention.

What we're doing is instead of trying to repress or inhibit the impulse, the impulse to hit, the impulse to argue, instead, what we're doing is removing the impulse, figuring out where that impulse is coming from.

The impulse comes from overstress.

And so what we're doing is teaching the child to recognize when they're getting overstressed.

So that they can reduce the stresses on their own.

They can self-regulate in a way where they don't have these impulses.

I've worked very hard teaching both of my kids how to do this.

And as you said a second ago, there's so ways a ways to go.

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