Tamsen Fadal

I didn't even ever want to do.

I was still there on the outside.

I went to work.

I did all the things.

But on the inside, I had shrunk.

And I've watched so many women do the same thing.

We stop being the main character of our own story and our own lives, and we start living somebody else's supporting role.

We tell ourself it's compromise, but that is not what it is.

The danger is that one day you wake up and realize you don't recognize yourself anymore.

And when the relationship ends,

or even if it doesn't, you're left with this terrifying question of who am I without him and who am I now?

So here's how we're gonna go into breaking that pattern.

First, keep your own table set.

That means continuing to feed the parts of your life that are just yours, your friendships, your hobbies, your works, your routine,

That doesn't mean that you can't have something to do with him and they can join you at different things.

But it means you also have to have your things going on.

When I finally started scheduling girls nights, even when I was in a relationship or taking trips without waiting for, you know, his opinion, I realized something really important.

My independence wasn't a threat to love.

It was the real thing that kept me more grounded and whole on the inside.

So I want you to keep doing what you did when you were single in so many ways.