Terry Real
👤 SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
I'm a big fan of breaks.
Get re-centered in the more thoughtful, non-flooded part of you.
Dan calls it the responsive brain instead of the reactive brain.
When you're re-centered, I call it remembering love.
You remember the person you're talking to as someone you care about.
Then you go back and you try.
But we all struggle with these adaptive child parts.
I deal with couples on the brink of divorce.
Almost all of them have been living in their adaptive child, thinking that that's an adult.
And the world will reward you.
The world will reward an adaptive child, but you'll make a hash in your family life.
So fight, flight, or fix.
Anybody listening today, when you're flooded, when you're on automatic, because that's the hallmark of the adaptive child, it's automatic.
Fight, flight, or fix.
What are you?
And what's your partner?
And then what's the dance between you?
The more I fight, the more they fix, the more they fix.
Okay.
The way out of this is to bring your thinking brain together.