Terry Real
👤 SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
back online, and the beauty here is that capacity, I call it relational mindfulness, that capacity to remember, to think, to bring yourself back into the present can be cultivated and grown.
So can I give you a story?
Enough talk, but let me tell you a story.
Yeah, and common as mud.
So here's what you do.
Contract for it when the heat is not on.
Listen, honey, I get flooded and you don't want me flooded.
I'm not nice.
I won't be nice.
I won't be skilled when I'm flooded.
I need to collect myself.
It's in your interest to let me go collect yourself.
I have a skill for everything.
This is a skill I call responsible distance taking.
Most of us take unilateral.
I'm just, I'm gone.
No.
I'm gone, here's why, and here's when I'm coming back.
It's not a rupture, it's a break.
So if I have a partner who's vulnerable to abandonment, if I go, I'm gone, boom, they're chasing me.