Terry Real
👤 SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
This is a good example of relational skill.
If I want distance, let me take care of my partner.
So she'll give me distance.
If I don't take care of you, I'm going to get chased.
It's in my interest to behave with skill.
So I say to you, when we're not flooded, let's have a contract.
I get flooded.
We don't like it when I get flooded.
I want to take a break.
Here's what it looks like.
15, 20 minutes, and then I'm back.
If I'm not in control, I'll text you.
I'll call you and say, I need another.
I'll negotiate with you.
But I'm not going to leave you.
I'm not going to be irresponsible.
It's not unilateral, and it's not forever.
I will be back.
What do you need in order to be calm enough to let me go?
And nine out of ten times, it's like, this contract is fine.