Terry Real

That's a way of following. So, no, of course we're all vulnerable, but trying to live up to that superhuman code leads every man vulnerable to anxiety and shame that they then don't admit because that would be weak. So the whole thing is just a mess. And the work I do, I say I feel like a surgeon reattaching nerves.

That's a way of following. So, no, of course we're all vulnerable, but trying to live up to that superhuman code leads every man vulnerable to anxiety and shame that they then don't admit because that would be weak. So the whole thing is just a mess. And the work I do, I say I feel like a surgeon reattaching nerves.

I thought what it meant to be a man was to be raging and dominating and abusive like my father. And I wanted no part of it. My father used to beat me. I mean, he'd piss my father off and he'd get out a pretty thick belt and whack the shit out of you. And one of the things I've realized 30 years after the fact was, unfortunately, my vulnerability or sensitivity was a trigger for my father.

I thought what it meant to be a man was to be raging and dominating and abusive like my father. And I wanted no part of it. My father used to beat me. I mean, he'd piss my father off and he'd get out a pretty thick belt and whack the shit out of you. And one of the things I've realized 30 years after the fact was, unfortunately, my vulnerability or sensitivity was a trigger for my father.

If he saw me being vulnerable or sensitive, he would go into a rage. just when I needed him most. But he was very contemptuous of weakness and vulnerability. So he would never talk about his childhood. I knew it was very difficult. He lost his mother when he was eight. His father and he and his brother lived through the Depression in America.

If he saw me being vulnerable or sensitive, he would go into a rage. just when I needed him most. But he was very contemptuous of weakness and vulnerability. So he would never talk about his childhood. I knew it was very difficult. He lost his mother when he was eight. His father and he and his brother lived through the Depression in America.

His father was kind of the black sheep of the family, couldn't find work. They moved in with another relative. The relative was mean to my dad. And I got my dad to tell me, gosh, I was close to 30, that when he was, what, 11-ish, his father brought he and his brother, younger brother, into the garage and turned on the car and told him to go to sleep. And my father knew that.

His father was kind of the black sheep of the family, couldn't find work. They moved in with another relative. The relative was mean to my dad. And I got my dad to tell me, gosh, I was close to 30, that when he was, what, 11-ish, his father brought he and his brother, younger brother, into the garage and turned on the car and told him to go to sleep. And my father knew that.

that there was something wrong. And he went back and forth with his dad and finally physically fought him. And he says his shoe cracked the window, and he and his brother got out. And then he was banished the next day.

that there was something wrong. And he went back and forth with his dad and finally physically fought him. And he says his shoe cracked the window, and he and his brother got out. And then he was banished the next day.

Yes, of course. It softened my heart, and I felt bad for him, and I understood immediately. And he said, my father was a passive man, my father was a weak man.

Yes, of course. It softened my heart, and I felt bad for him, and I understood immediately. And he said, my father was a passive man, my father was a weak man.

That's right. And so he became the anti-that. And the anti-that was a macho asshole. But I could understand why he would be contemptuous of what he deemed as weakness.

That's right. And so he became the anti-that. And the anti-that was a macho asshole. But I could understand why he would be contemptuous of what he deemed as weakness.

Because his father's weakness threatened to kill him. It was murderous.

Because his father's weakness threatened to kill him. It was murderous.

That's a beautiful question. We don't have to go into a lot of detail, but For two years, Belinda and I and my kids and— Belinda's your wife, yeah. Yeah, a great family therapist in her own right, I want to say. We were followed by a documentarian, and there's a docu-series that's coming out about us.

That's a beautiful question. We don't have to go into a lot of detail, but For two years, Belinda and I and my kids and— Belinda's your wife, yeah. Yeah, a great family therapist in her own right, I want to say. We were followed by a documentarian, and there's a docu-series that's coming out about us.

And one of the beginning scenes of the—astoundingly enough, I was 34 years old, not married yet to Belinda, and my parents came for a week of family therapy— Wow.

And one of the beginning scenes of the—astoundingly enough, I was 34 years old, not married yet to Belinda, and my parents came for a week of family therapy— Wow.