Terry Real

My dear friends and colleagues who are in the forefront of feminism, Esther Perel, Carol Gilligan, are man-loving feminists.

But that wasn't the first wave.

It was really an understandable reaction to the entitlement and the oppression of women.

But I call that political patriarchy, and it exists.

You step out of America and it's pretty clear women are oppressed by men all over the globe.

That's true.

But what I, as a psychologist, what I'm interested in is what I call psychological patriarchy, the dynamics of patriarchy.

And that can take place between two men, between two women, between a mother and a child, between two races.

And the psychology of patriarchy is a straitjacket that is, I believe, toxic for everybody.

Now look, there are some positive traits to traditional masculinity.

It's not completely black and white.

But a lot of it is really unhealthy.

So a lot of guys reacted to being told, you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong, by, hey, I'm throwing off the shackles, I'll do what the hell I want, and a kind of celebration move.

the old freedoms and the old entitlements.

But that ain't the way out.

And even though we see this resurgence right now, that does not breed a happy human being.

So we need models of progressive masculinity, not regressive masculinity.

And they're rare.

You are a guy.

And pretty inhuman in some ways.