Terry Real

And we filmed it. And the film survived. And what you see, and I hadn't seen it for 40 years.

And we filmed it. And the film survived. And what you see, and I hadn't seen it for 40 years.

No, someone was doing family therapy with us. Gotcha. Yeah. And what you see is after 10 minutes, I sideline the therapist, who's pretty irrelevant, actually. And I move in to my dad and mom. I am doing relational life therapy with my parents at 34. You see it.

No, someone was doing family therapy with us. Gotcha. Yeah. And what you see is after 10 minutes, I sideline the therapist, who's pretty irrelevant, actually. And I move in to my dad and mom. I am doing relational life therapy with my parents at 34. You see it.

One of the core principles of RLT is what we call joining through the truth. confronting people, but in a way that's precise and loving so that they can hear it. One of the things that therapy school says about grandiose people in general and men in particular is, you know, don't tell truth to power. We I believe my field colludes with patriarchy and protecting perpetrators.

One of the core principles of RLT is what we call joining through the truth. confronting people, but in a way that's precise and loving so that they can hear it. One of the things that therapy school says about grandiose people in general and men in particular is, you know, don't tell truth to power. We I believe my field colludes with patriarchy and protecting perpetrators.

We have done a great job of helping people for 50 years come up from shame, but we've been ridiculously ineffective at helping people come down from grandiosity. And I knew that I had to do that. So there was a moment with my dad. He started crying. I get it. Forgive me. He talked about his mother who died. He talked about his exile. And he started crying and he said, I haven't felt any of this.

We have done a great job of helping people for 50 years come up from shame, but we've been ridiculously ineffective at helping people come down from grandiosity. And I knew that I had to do that. So there was a moment with my dad. He started crying. I get it. Forgive me. He talked about his mother who died. He talked about his exile. And he started crying and he said, I haven't felt any of this.

I haven't thought about this my whole life until you started probing, Terry. And as he was crying, I put my hand on his shoulder and And I said, you cry, old man. Every tear you cry is a tear I don't have to. That was pretty wise at 34.

I haven't thought about this my whole life until you started probing, Terry. And as he was crying, I put my hand on his shoulder and And I said, you cry, old man. Every tear you cry is a tear I don't have to. That was pretty wise at 34.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Here's my most famous quote. It's the height of pretension to quote yourself, but I will. You can do it. Thank you. Family pathology, family pathology, rolls from generation to generation. like a fire in the woods, taking down everything in its path until one person in one generation has the courage to turn and face the flames.

Here's my most famous quote. It's the height of pretension to quote yourself, but I will. You can do it. Thank you. Family pathology, family pathology, rolls from generation to generation. like a fire in the woods, taking down everything in its path until one person in one generation has the courage to turn and face the flames.

That person brings peace to their ancestors and spares the children to follow.

That person brings peace to their ancestors and spares the children to follow.

We both were. It was a rare moment. We both were.

We both were. It was a rare moment. We both were.